We have made several changes to our policy here at GOHEAVY. Here they are:
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GOHEAVY.COM Debates Forum
What a gym should be like...........
Posted By: Rebekah Jones (lgb-cust-208.57.25.157.mpowercom.net)
Date: Wednesday, January 4, 2006, @ 3:04 p.m.
If bodybuilders ruled the world gyms would be this way........
Staying on a cardio machine over 30 minutes, while people are waiting, will cause it to spontaneously combust.
Drinking fountains emit protein shakes only. Shake flavor varies by the day:
Monday-strawberry
Tuesday-chocolate
Wednesday-cookies’n’cream
Thursday-grape
Friday-cherry with whipped cream.All commercials for junk food on TVs in cardio areas are automatically blocked.
All those who don’t re-rack their weights will find their machines slowly, mysteriously becoming heavier while in motion.
Grunting causes iron to become lighter while being lifted.
New members must yield right of way and bow to more faithful members.
Equipment is coated with a new invisible seal that causes any sweat dripped on it to automatically display the initials of who forgot to wipe it off.
Walking around on the floor, magically causes unvacuumed dirt to disappear.
Any new machine has a button which causes a personal trainer to magically appear and explain proper form and usage.
Worn, frayed ropes spontaneously regenerate themselves weekly!
Pool water vomits out any swimmer’s germs.
Weights left lying on the floor over 30 seconds will automatically hurl themselves back at whoever was responsible for leaving them there.
Members who talk too much will be swallowed alive by the gym floor cracks every 30 minutes.
Locker thieves will be eaten alive by the phantom locker room monster.
Cars parked crooked will be picked up and carried away by the members training for power-lifting competitions.
New lighting causes any female attire deemed “inappropriately slutty” to instantly grow and lengthen double in size.
Any male clothing so revealing as to be deemed disgusting, will automatically strangle the wearer, choking blood vessels until replaced with more appropriate attire.
Machines will be equipped with a new robotic arm. Improper form on a machine will result in the arm slapping user.
Hidden ceiling sprinklers will douse anyone sweating too much.
Anyone attempting to show off while training, will trigger hidden laugh track on Cybex machines.
A special air additive causes excessive yawners to grow excessive facial hair.
Noise levels in aerobics classes directly influence the thermostats of the aerobics rooms. Louder levels cause heat to increase. Classes who maintain a reasonable level of noise will have their air conditioning left alone.
Percentage of members continually in violation of rules must pay 50% of dues for members in good standing.
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